Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Countdown 2015... 85 days and I'm thinking sugar-free

Since I am not yet recovered from the terrible news of my weight and I did say I would act rather than pity myself, I did what any person in my situation would have done.  Went to Google to research.  Let me say, it is overwhelming the amount of information that is out there.  So I came across a couple of websites and articles and blogs about going sugar-free. I also saw some about low-carb, but that will be another post.

I admit, the thought of going sugar-free is completely unknown to me... I am a baker.  Everything I do is packed in sugar, cakes, puddings, cupcakes, frostings, glazes, tarts, and the list goes on and on.  So there has to be a way. 

Today is my first day, and this morning rather than have my usual scrambled eggs with fries and ketchup, I just had the scrambled eggs loaded in veggies and just one ounce of sharp white cheddar cheese (hey... baby steps).  That was at 9:30am and it is 11:00am right now (Puerto Rico Time) and I am feeling okay.  Still craving my fries but overall all-right. 

In addition to this I have made the conscious decision of giving up on soft drinks (this is probably just the excitement talking, but I will try to always choose water or 100% juice when available).  Dairy wise I already switched a couple months ago to Almond Milk, I just can't seem to leave cheese (I am a rat after all) in any of its forms.  I love my cheese.

So I am thinking I can do 100 days of sugar-free eating, which I think requires a lot of organization because menu planning takes a LONG time.  And I have tried it but, let's face it, I am not patient enough.  It seems as though menu planning is in the end what will help me achieve this.  Ok, so 100 days, but there are 85 days left in 2014 so this plan will extend itself until January 15, 2015.  And Thanksgiving and Christmas is right in the middle of it.  It's like I want to boycott myself.

Can I pull this off???  I guess you have to come back and see...

Have you tried sugar-free?  What was your experience?  I need all the help I can get.

Until next time...make it a great day.


Monday, October 6, 2014

86 days to go and two hundred WHAT???

I finally got to the mall today.  Visited one of those stores with vitamins because they have this scale that measures everything for a dollar.  Cheap right?

Oh! before I forget I found a picture of my Rocco.  He is the one sitting down, the one laying down is lazy Toby.  This was taken on a bath day a couple months ago.  Wasn't he cute???

Ok.  Stop deviating from the subject.

Like I told you last Saturday on my resolutions post Countdown to 2015... 88 days, last time I weighed myself was about a year ago and I was around 267 pounds.  So today after a few inconveniences I got myself to the mall very proudly and ready because ''there is no way I can go any higher, right?"  WRONG!!!!  I got the evidence to prove that I did go higher.  I almost had a panic attack.

"This is what happens when you keep stuffing you face at night.  What are you going to do and xmas is around the corner.  And you have a baby.  You are actually carrying another person with you at all times.  This has to come to an end."  All this thoughts came to my head as soon as I read the results.  In case the picture isn't clear enough I will break it down for you.  It states the following:

On 10/06/2014 @ 14:37

Weight:            277.1 lbs.
Height:             5' 6.8''

BMI:                43

Less than 19:   Underweight
19-25:              Normal
Over 25:          Overweight

Ideal weight for a BMI 19-25 is:

121.0 lbs. to 159.2 lbs.

Fat percentage:  41%
Fat mass:           113.5 lbs.
Age:                   30 yrs.

Recommended fat percentages

Excellent:           19.7%
Good:                 22.7%
Regular:             26.4%
Bad:                   30.5%

Contact info for the machine company

So, where do I begin?  I NEED HELP!!!  That's pretty obvious.  To be on the higher end of the suggested ideal weight I need to lose 117.9 lbs.  I mean, are you kidding me?  How did I ever let it get this bad it's beyond me.  But this is no time for self-pity.  This is a time for action.

I will not wallow on this.  I am totally responsible for stuffing my face whether it is emotional anxiety or just plain boredom.  Freaking cooking shows.  I don't know if you relate, but when I see something good in a cooking show, I immediately want to go into the kitchen to prepare it... remember the late night fried pickle binge???  I do, they were awesome and now I am carrying it in my thighs.

I mean I have always struggled with weight, but this s unacceptable.  I am not comfortable in my skin anymore.  I don't know how but immediate action is required and I am starting tomorrow. 

I am entirely open for suggestions and I would love for you to share your story.  Us women need to support each other.  One this is certain this is one instance where the saying can go "There is no other way to go but DOWN!!!"

Hope to hear from you.  Till then...

Make it a great day.


Saturday, October 4, 2014

Countdown to 2015... 88 days

I am still in shock that October is already here and I haven't done more than have my resolutions for this 2014.  At the end of last year, like many of us, I was looking forward to doing all this things that I had put on paper.  2014 began and amidst all the family gatherings (in Puerto Rico we have probably the longest Christmas Season in the world.  We have the Xmas Spirit since late October lasting until almost the end of January with Las fiestas de la Calle San Sebastian), February snuck up on me and the question dawned on me "Where do I start?"

My list was not very long but it had enough resolutions to keep me busy for the whole year.  The goal was to do one per month, it didn't happen.  I wrote some of my resolutions in the January 1 post My Hopes for 2014.  Again, it didn't happen.  I think it has to do with the fact that I nor anyone else was holding me accountable for my resolutions.  I thought writing them online would, but it didn't.  So what is different now???

Well now I just realized that there are only 88 days left for me to achieve most of them.  I am at a point in my life where I have come to realize that I have to live for myself and do for myself.  No one will do it for me and at 30 years old I don't like my life very much.  So it is either change the way I see my life and make it better or go to Capestrano because I'm depressed.  Guess which one I opted for, of course the first one.  I know it will not be easy but it is cheaper and I have to do it for myself.  Not expecting any recognition other than my own.

The plan

Weight loss:  Evidently I am not going to lose all the weight I want to lose.  But I can finally start.  Last time I had weighed myself over a year ago I was at 257 pounds, and at 5' 8'' that makes me obese.  Later today I will go to the mall to weigh myself.  Later today if not tomorrow I will upload the pictures and the evidence of the weight.  and I will do a weekly weigh-in so you can see my progress.

Financially:  I have depended financially on my partner for years and it has been very tough.  I don't know if you can relate but in my experience since it was not my money I had no voice on how to spend it.  Therefore priorities in the house were very different.  That will definitely change.  I will begin my baking business, starting small at home and tutoring both English and Spanish at home, and all sorts of odd jobs that will let me continue to be with my son full time and be on my way to be independent... again.

Family:  I will make an effort to spend more quality time with my son.  And collaborate more with his school.  My plan is to homeschool him when he goes to kindergarten.  We'll see.  For now I want to be the mom that is always there and teachers can count on most of the time.  Pretty soon it will be my son and I.  We are going to be moving in with my sister for a while, let's see how that goes.   I'll let you know.

School:  I will look for small courses or workshops of Pastry as to refresh my knowledge and keep up to date with new decoration techniques.  I would love to be a Pastry teacher but for kids.  I already did a Pastry workshop for Head Start.  Who knows where that'll lead.

Faith:  This whole separation situation, having a kids with special needs and just every day can be very stressful.  I   always rely on God for support, but I am still in diapers when it comes to having faith.  I always worry and stress over the little things.  I am micromanager.  So I want to keep growing in this area.  I want to discover my purpose, because I know He has one for me.

This are the biggest 5 areas in my resolutions list for 2014.  Starting today steps will be taken to achieve them.  there are a couple other areas in my life that I have resolutions for.  And I'll tackle each and everyone of them in the remaining 88 days.  I will post progress notes on them along the way.  Until next time.

Make it a great day,


Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Goodbye Rocco

Yesterday was a day of great loss for my family.  One of our dogs, Rocco, a red nose is gone.  I didn't write yesterday because I was an emotional wreck.  I spent all afternoon looking for a picture of my beautidul red nose and I couldn't find one.  What kind of pet lover am I?

I can't believe that I don't have one picture of Rocco.  It seems like yesterday when we went to pick him up.  It was a Sunday two years ago, we all got into the Lighting McQueen (that's what my son calls our car), went to pick up my bonus child and headed to our detination.  We bought him from a colleague of daddy and when I saw him it was love at first sight. 

A couple years ago when my son was around six months daddy went a got a dog, without consulting me.  I didn't want to have pets at the moment because we had a baby and I was very worried of how that would go.  I remember I got home from work and there was the dog.  Not just any dog, an American Pitbull, he was about 2 months old,  You can imagine how mad I got, specially given the fact that pitbulls bite (they are subject to very bad propaganda in Puerto Rico).  When his first vet visit came I was so glad to have someone explain daddy what a bad choice this had been. 

Boy was I wrong...

If you can imagine this.  A very cold examination room in a vet's office.  Me holding the baby in one corner, daddy holding the beast, I mean the dog in the other corner.  Me, infuriated, giving daddy  the "This isn't over, Ill get you later'' look; dad staring at me smirking with the " I'm so glad the dog is staying." and the one look I hated more that anything else the " I told you so".

According to the vet, this was the best dog daddy could have bought.  Because they are very protective of their family.  And since we bought him as a baby, the same time Gabo was a baby he would be my son's friend.  They grew together.  When I put the baby down to nap, the dog would also nap next to the baby.  When the baby cried, the dog cried.  No stranger could come near the baby without going through the dog first.  And now that my son is four, so is the dog, whenever I have to reprimand my son the dog gets in the way and pushes him out of the area.  Toby, that's the dog, changed the idea I had about pitbulls and is the reason I agreed to get Rocco.

That Sunday afternoon near the train station our Rocco got delivered to us.  We chose Rocco after a long list of possible names for a beast like him.  He was light brown, with his pink nose and the most beautiful olive green eyes you've ever seen.  He was a super hyper dog.  Probably had ADHD.  We tried training him a couple times but flies played the Alpha role in that situation.  He couldn't pay attention for more than a couple seconds before he saw a fly and had to jump to get it.  Toby spends his days easting and sleeping, Rocco would spend them chasing flies and iguanas out of the yard.  Once he bit something that didn't sit well with him, and when daddy got home at midnight he found him in a catatonic state.  He got me out of bed and we went outside with the dog, petting him and taking care of him.  Daddy said he didn't think Rocco would make it through the night, so we said our goodbyes just in case.  But in the morning he was fine.  Not this time.  Who would have thought that his being so hyper would be the reason he'd be gone today. 

He looked so peaceful.  Like he was sleeping and I pray that he didn't suffer.  My beautiful olive green eyed dog is gone forever.  It was so surreal, a couple hours before we found him, he was in the kitchen with me because I was giving his favorite treat, Carmela chicken sausages.  I no longer have a dog to fight with over being so hyper, or a dog that would cut himself lose almost daily so I would give him a treat.

How do you do it?  I still have Toby.  But he can't replace Rocco.  Do I get another dog?  Should we grieve?  How do I tell my son his dog isn't coming back?

One things is sure... he will be missed a lot.

Thank you for the memories Rocco.  We'll always remember you.